Emo-ing

So I have a blog, so I'm deciding to use it. No one that I know knows about this, so I don't worry about having anyone finding out. Silly, maybe, but it makes me feel better.

Anyway.

No one I know in real life really wants to listen to my problems. At least, not when they're just jealousy/feeling left out issues. And I've been told that it makes them upset that I feel this way, so I can't tell my friends who make me feel this way either. So, thus, blogging. What happened was my two best friends are staying together for 10 days. Lovely. I've gotten over that idea, so I don't feel so bad about that. I just feel like kinda a third wheel now. And I don't want to bother to laugh at something I don't find funny. They both do an awkward little laugh to show that they're listening, but it was that funny. I find it hard to tell them stuff if they're not going to sound interested in it, but that's for another blog. So I've been quiet. All I can do really is listen. But because I'm just so upset, I just don't really care about what they do. I don't care what they laugh at, I don't care what they've done, or what was said. It hurts too much to try to care because I know I'm not a part of that humor. Maybe I lack empathy or maybe it's the jealousy and pain, but I'm not able to be happy because I feel left out.

Uhm, what else? Well, my friend leaves tomorrow. Do I feel better about it? No. I don't think things will be the same now. So I'm just going to be quiet. I'm going to try to pretend like everything's okay. I'm going to talk about normal stuff, but I'm not going to talk about this again.

I feel so numb sometimes.